One Year Food Regret-iversary

After posting for the first time in months on this blog I realized that this day marks one year since my very first Food Regrets post.  Weird.  I thought it would be appropriate to re-post my first Food Regrets blog entry here.

 I don't have many or really any regrets in life because I feel like all of my choices and experiences have led me to where I am now, but I do have many "food regrets." This happens when either I eat too much of something or when something sounds good one second but I later regret eating it. I feel like I have more food regrets than most.

I started this blog first because I thought it was kind of funny but then later realized it's a way for me to be honest with myself in documenting them and in turn hopefully curbing them because regret just makes you feel bad!

I try not to obsess about eating, counting calories, etc. but I feel better when I eat better. Not to mention since living in Texas I've had some weight struggles and lately I have been trying to take more control over them. I've made lots of progress and I try to be proud of that, but these "food regret" moments can be rough. I don't want this blog to make me get down on myself, but to help me make myself more aware of them and maybe if someone else sees them they'll even be able to relate. I will never cut out a food that I love; I'm just trying to learn moderation. Sometimes circumstances, stress or emotions kind of stand in the way and lead to these "regrets."

In case you're interested in where my need to try to address all this comes from... here's an overview of my weight struggles over the past eight years.

• Leave an active job in Missouri to work a desk job in Texas. Never worried about diet and exercise before, youth and the active job just kept me thin.
• Pounds start adding up the longer I get into my desk job and change nothing else about my diet or exercise.
• I finally get diagnosed with endometriosis. The doctor plays around with different drugs, I have two surgeries, and then start Lupron injections which put my body through temporary menopause (and made me balloon up even more). By this time I've put on probably 20 or 25 pounds. Considering my small stature, that is A LOT!!!
• Days after one of my surgeries I go to my 10 year high school reunion. TWO people mistake me for being pregnant, one being a former male classmate who puts his hand on my stomach and says, "Someone looks awfully pregnant!" Who knows how many more thought it but just didn't say anything.
• I visit Susan in Dallas. We go get our nails done. Girl doing my nails asks, "How long ago did you have the baby, or are you about to have it?"
• My former love for shopping for clothes stops. Now it's all about trying to find things that will hide my belly.
• I get off Lupron plus start exercising and making changes to diet. Pounds slowly start coming off.
• I find workout buddies, start taking group classes, and make more changes to diet. More pounds come off.
• I get dumped by a serious boyfriend. More pounds come off and I'm starting to recognize my old self again.
• A little more than seven years after moving to Texas and I decide I need to take even more control and I start WeightWatchers online after hearing about two friends' success stories.
• Since starting Weight Watchers I've lost about 10 more pounds with a goal of about 5 or so more to go. It's hard to stay motivated sometimes after hitting your first goal, hence food regrets.

Thinking back on all of this is kind of painful. I get mad at myself for letting it get so out of control, but have forgiven myself. The Food Regrets blog will hopefully be a good way for me to stay accountable to myself.